Focus- one day at a time!

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I totally let my weight "weigh" on my mind!! I need to find some place else to focus my thoughts, what I don't know is how I am going to do this but I am going to try and figure that out!!

I did cardio on Sunday, body pump on Monday, cardio and boxing on Tuesday, I took Wednesday off and did cardio and a little boxing tonight. I have really been trying to eat 'healthy". I did have a blizzard on Tuesday which was a ton of calories but I really didn't eat that much the rest of the day.
Of course on Tuesday I had to rush out and buy the Jillian Michael's diet pills. There are two kinds a fat burner and a calorie control, which is suppose to reduce calorie intake and help fight diet fatigue. I was a little concerned about the caffeine in them, however the calorie control one doesn't bother me. I did take the fat burner last night and thought I was going to be sick, but I think it was because I hadn't eaten much.

Because of last night I was a little freaked out to take the fat burner today so I didn't and I only took the other one once. This is what I ate. I had oatmeal cookies made with a packet of weight control oatmeal, I smashed up a fresh peach to get a fruit in the easy way. I had yogurt mixed with cheerios for my first break. It was a single serve bowl of cheerios, (budget cuts at work but we buy single serve instead of bulk, go figure). I had some celery and some jimica about 1230, as my break was late. For lunch at 1:00 I had rice with a little chicken gravy (this was my choice since I felt like crap last night and didn't make anything to take). When I got home I had some chips and a bowl of cereal. I wasn't even hungry. I think I eat at this time out of habit. THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE!! I then went to the gym. This is all I have had today and I can say that I am not really hungry. I am sure that I will have some sort of snack before bed but I will try really hard to make it healthy! I have had alot of water today. I also had half of a dt coke. I didn't have any dt dew in the fridge and I am not a huge fan of dt coke unless it is mixed with whiskey!!!
Almost forgot my friend Kim had me try rutabaga-raw. I don't know what the hell this is suppose to taste like but I thought I was going to throw up!!!!!

Getting back into it

My eating for yesterday was ok in the am then down hill from there. I had a protein bar in the morning then hit the gym. I ellipticaled for 4 miles. We had a few errands to do in St.Paul. fun fun. I had to get new work pants, and the good news is I didn't have to go up a size from what I have, however at 40 bucks a crack I better only go down, I will not need to buy any new ones if I can make that happen as I have about 10 pair in my closet waiting to help me out when I need it. It is a really shady area that I have to go to, I think anyway so I make Pat come with me!! We decided that we were going to go out for lunch at Carboni's love that place, I had a meatball sub. I only ate about half of it and brought the rest home. For supper at 5:30 we went to Applebee's for Sydney's first day of school supper. I did not order a meal. However I seemed to have polished off a bunch of chips and salsa with my perfect margarita, some of Sydney's fries, a bite of Pat's steak, a little bit of Misty's 3 Cheese Chicken Penne and 2 mozzarella sticks. How is that for not ordering my own food. SAD!! I probably ate more this way than if I would have ordered something. Sad thing was, I really wasn't that hungry!!! I also had a skinny cow ice cream sandwich later in the evening!! WHY, WHY, WHY do I do this!!!!

Wednesday was and ok morning, I had oatmeal and 2 pieces of toast with PB& J. For lunch I had some tatar tots and turkey. All is good for the most part until I get home. I finish the rest of the meatball sub, have a bunch of pretzels with PB (the jar is now gone) and a bowl of Captain crunch!!!! This was more ridiculous than last night!!!! I took a little nap then headed to body pump.

My goal for the rest of the week, is to eat good stuff including veggies and to hit the gym and work out harder than I have been. I will not go to the gym on Saturday as I work from 7am until 11pm. But I will try to eat good that day as well. Cross your fingers and we will hope for the best!

What if?

What if I don't make my Vegas goal weight? Life will go on! I am certainly not on the fast track to getting to it, why is that? Because it is my own damn fault!! I know that I am an emotional eater- however the emotions are not the good ones. I tend to eat when I am mad, upset, bored, and tired. Of course I eat when I am celebrating something or when I am happy, it is just not as much and as often as the other times!!! What does that say????

Last week was all about being sad, shocked and unprepared. I wouldn't say I ate alot, I just made bad choices. Oh well, last week is over, fresh start for this week.

Sunday I got up and had a protein bar and a glass of water, along with the Fat burner pill and the carb blocker. Off to the gym, I ran 3 miles. Before lunch I had 5 flips and a piece of cheddar cheese (in a stick like string cheese). For lunch we made turkey breast so I had some of that and a small scoop of mashed potatoes and some pea pods and cherry tomatoes, I took the pills again before I ate. Off for a bike ride- we did about 6.5 miles. We did stop at Candy Land and got some caramel popcorn, we all shared this and I didn't eat that much because the caramel hurts my teeth when it gets stuck and I can't stand it when I get a hull stuck and can't get it out!!!! Home for supper, I had a piece of cold pizza left over from Friday night and a a few grapes. Doing pretty good!! Snack time. I really didn't feel hungry just thirsty, I had drank a ton of water and a dt dew but it just wasn't doing it. You guessed it I had beer!!!! I had 3 of them and a few handfuls of Pat's popcorn. Later I had some flips and another piece of cheese!!! I would have had more beer but Pat and Sydney were counting for some reason so I quit at three, guilt I guess, why I don't know!!! I am an adult!! Off to bed

Today I had a protein bar and a glass of water, I took the pills again. Off to the gym where I ellipticaled for 2 miles on one kind of elliptical then switched to the other kind for 10 minutes. I didn't look to see how far I went on that one. Once I got home I thought I would check out my new boxing bag!! I loved it until it came crashing out of the ceiling!! I would like to think it was because I hit it so hard but my guess would be that it wasn't screwed all the way in or something. Which is weird because that is not like Pat to not get something right the first time!! Lunch was a turkey sand on a lite bun, some cherry tomatoes and jicima. I tried to make a dip for it, lite mayo, horseradish, garlic powder and cayenne pepper, tasty. I took the pills again. Sydney and I ran some errands then headed to Dunn Bros for a treat, I had a coupon so of course I had to get the biggest drink. We also shared a brownie, and yes I made her divide it EQUALLY!!! I got home and checked the calories of the big drink, which I dumped out the last 1/4 of it. 690 calories or something stupid like that!!! I knew it before I went that it would be bad so I am not going to beat myself up!! I had a few wheat thins ( a different kind, there long like a graham cracker) and a piece of cheese. I wasn't hungry at supper so I have not eaten anything.
I am really ready for a beer, I am just thirsty and have had water and part of a pop they didn't do the trick.

I hate the fact that the beer stares me in the face everytime I open the fridge door. Stop it, I am not running back and forth to it like you think.

Here is the kicker, I had gained back the 2 pounds the week of my friend and stayed at that weight last week. Today back down 2lbs, what the hell I ate crap and drank beer!!! Maybe I do focus way to much on it!!
We will see what next week brings!!!!