Back to reality!

Here I am thinking I have a half hour to get ready to go to the gym for the 2nd time today, I worked out this morning, did my new leaf workout and since this is a strength day I need to go back from 8-9 for body pump, this is the only day they don't have a class in the morning. No I am not thrilled to be going back but I figure it is one less thing to do tomorrow.



I planned out my workouts for this week and got my sticky notes ready to put on the machines so I know exactly what I need to do when I am there. Good for me, yes a laid out plan, well Wednesday I was sick so that threw the whole plan off. I need to do 3 days of strength training and we all know I can't do this on my own, so I go to body pump, my plan for this week was Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Since I couldn't go on Wednesday it is all messed up, so I will miss a day of strength unless I do something on my own Sat or Sun? Maybe!!



When I was sick it was weird it was like someone was punching me in the stomach really hard, topped with nausea. Not fun!!!



I found this quote in a magazine and I think it speaks volumes!!!! "The first weight you lose is what you carry on your shoulders" (asics shoes). This is so true for me anyway, I take things way to personally and I think that things have to be perfect or done to my expectations and I am sure that I don't know how to "really" relax.!!

What I've learned is that I CAN NOT CONTROL THINGS OR OTHER PEOPLE. When I let go, I am so much more happier. It is really not worth it to internalize things and be miserable, this is how I see the weight on my shoulders being lifted is learning to "let it all go". For me this needs to include my obsession for weight loss!!

What I don't get it that I am obsessed about going to the gym, obsessed about the number on the scale, but when it comes to food the obsession goes the other way, I am obsessed with it. Why is that? I try really hard to eat healthy, but then this little voice says "yes, you can have just a small bite, or have a little it won't hurt, you can work it off" It is so frustrating!!! I need to find a way to get rid of the "little voice"!! I know how hard I work at the gym and eating crap only makes me have to work harder, now why would I want to do that? My philosophy has always been "work smarter, not harder" I thought I did this but I know that I don't when it comes to eating then having to work it off!!!

One thing I am getting better at is when we go out to eat, I have been making better choices, I always think if I am going out to eat, I am certainly going to have what I want. This is so dumb, it is not like we don't go out often, but my mind somehow thinks "this might be the last time I go out, so why would I have something healthy.

This coming week is going to be screwed up for me with Monday being Memorial day, I work and the gym is only open until 4:00, therefore no Body Pump, my hope is to at least get some sort of cardio in when I get off work, either a walk or a bike ride!!!