Being healthy inside and out

I have had 6 days in a row of awesome workouts burning at least 1000 calories per workout. I have had 3 days of pretty good eating. Those would be the 3 days that I wrote everything down that went into my mouth. Even if it was those 3 pieces of candy I ate. Then Monday came and I stopped writing my food down. Why? I am not sure. I have a lot going on right now and I am handling it the best I can, but I still feel overwhelmed. I think that is why I have had really good workouts, it makes me feel like I can just let everything go for the time and focus on myself and my workout. When it comes to eating it is the opposite. I am an emotional eater but a weird one at that. Sometimes I can eat and eat and not want to quit and other days I don't want anything. What I have learned from the past is that "things will be what they will be" If my advice is not taken so be it, then I can't be the one responsible and can only be there to help pick up the pieces when things fall apart. My sister always asks how I can be like that and accept things whatever the outcome. I tell her I control me and I am just not the type of person that needs to be in control nor do I have to have the final say. Life is about so much more than having to be the person who is right. You can learn alot coming from a family of 8. (haha this is where the issues come from) Life is what we make it and at this point I am making it a healthy life inside and out!!!!

A big Thanks

A big thanks to Ann and her blog post about maintenance I think I may have had a revelation. I know there is a "maintenance" phase in the weight loss world, but what I didn't realize is that you could put yourself in that phase without really knowing you did it and before hitting your personal goals. You see I have been at the same weight give or take 5 pounds for the last couple of years. I workout at least 4 times a week and try to eat healthy. I don't count calories and I don't eat alot of fruits and veggies so healthy might not be the right word. It is more like " I watch what I eat". What I realized after reading Ann's post is that even though I am doing that, I am not working out hard enough or eating good enough to lose weight. I have had some really great workouts and some really great eating days, they are just not consistent enough to make me lose weight. What I started to think was "my body is at the weight it wants to be". Nothing seems to work. It is time for me to tell you that I need to revamp my workouts and start eating more "healthy" foods like fruits and vegetables and tracking what I eat so I can start seeing results.
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment". Buddha

Raw emotions

Lately I have this cloud of emotions floating around that I don't know how to deal with. I am sad, upset, angry, overwhelmed, stressed, tired, and I lack motivation to do anything. Part of it stems from just getting back from Vegas, it was a great trip however I did not sleep well while we were gone then went back to work the next day. On Thursday before we flew out I found out that they would be having the burial for my sister in-law the following Tuesday. There was just no way for us to get off the plane Monday at 230 then drive for 8 hours to make it there. I am still so very sad I couldn't be there. The other part is work, family, my cousins cancer and even the weather. How do you re-motivate your self to get back on track when it feels like your world is spinning out of control?
'Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill.

Getting it off my chest

I feel I have a bunch of stuff to get off my chest so here goes. I had committed to doing Shred for 28 days, I managed to do 9 days in a row then took and unexpected weekend trip, then got sick, then never really got back on track, only doing Shred 3 more times. So 12 times in a 28 day period, not what I was hoping for. Trying to burn 1200 calories working out, complete fail, I honestly did not know that would be so hard. There was a time when I would do at least 1000 on the treadmill then hit the elliptical. My thinking then was "if I ate it, I had to burn the calories off". What happened to that mind set????? I got one run in outside, this weather needs to take a hike of it's own and move out of this area. We need sunshine. With that said that one run was "huge" for me, I hadn't run outside before. I am on week 4 of C25K, I program the intervals into my phone and then hit the music, it gives me a "buzzer" sound when it is time to switch intervals. With this said my 1st day of week 4 I just turned the timer on and didn't even look to see how long the running part was. BIG SURPRISE THERE!!! I kept thinking" when am I going to hear that stupid buzzer" I wanted to quit before the 5 minutes of running was up, and then a sweet voice popped in my head, it was Mariah, when she told her story she would tell herself, "I am unstoppable". Being inspired my Mariah, I said " Mariah is unstoppable, she can do this, I can to". So thank-you Mariah for helping me finish those intervals.

I have something that has really been weighing on my mind lately. Why do some people always have to be "one uppers"? When did my wanting to have a healthier life style and drop a few pounds turn into a competition for others? Why is what Iam doing so interesting to some? Obviously if I was so great at weight loss I would have it all figured out by now. Let me let you in on a little secret " I don't have it figured out, I don't know what I am doing and for the love of money this is not a COMPETITION!!! Ok, I feel better just had to get that off my chest!!

I have a co-worker who has lost about 70lbs since Jan 1st, today he jokingly offered to train me at the gym for $400.00, my training hours would be from 3:30AM-6:00AM and then again from 3:30pm-6:00pm. Yes, he is obsessed with working out right now, I politely declined his offer. I did tell him that I would like to try working out in the morning however I like to sleep more than I like to workout. I was told by someone else that once you get yourself vertical in the morning, your workout becomes 2nd nature, my co-worker said the same thing. What do you think about working out in the morning? I really do want to try it for me it would probably be from 4:45-6:00. I have to be to work by 7.

I am leaving for sunny Las Vegas on Friday and will be back on Monday. I won't be getting workouts in but I am guessing we will be doing alot of walking. I will be back at the gym on Wednesday completely re-freshed!!! Possibly Tuesday but I have a dentist appointment and I really, really hate the dentist, so we will have to see how that goes!!!!!!

Here's the deal!!

This happens alot for me, I make a plan, I stick to it for a week or two then something throws a monkey wrench into the plan and I have a heck of a time getting back on track. Here's the deal. I did Shred for 9 days straight and went to the gym. I took Sunday the 10th off as we took a quick unexpected trip out of town and when we got back had other things that needed to get done. On Monday I started right back up with Shred, I had intended on going to the gym when I realized I had an eye appointment that evening. Then Tuesday rolled around, full of sunshine and a temp close to 70 I think. I had a Safety Meeting at work so I didn't get off until 4. I had eaten the lunch that we had a work, failure on my part to prepare my own. Lesson learned , DON"T DO THAT AGAIN. It was some sort of chili macaroni hotdish, I had about a cup, it was really salty. After I ate it I didn't feel right. I told my co-worker about 2:00 that I was sure the beef in the hotdish had come from a cow with mad cow disease. He told me that it wasn't even beef!! Thanks! I got home at 4:10 and hopped on the couch and fell asleep, along with a horrible stomache-ache I had a really bad headache. I called in sick on Wednesday. Not because I hate Wednesdays at work, it just so happened I was actually sick!!!! I didn't eat much on Wednesday and drank alot of water. The headache went away but the stomach was still not right. I did go into work today and made it the whole day. I am fine as long as I don't eat much!! I had a Smart One and some oatmeal today! The good thing about this is I can't seem to finish a Dt Mountain Dew, maybe I am on my way to weaning myself off!!! With all of this I have not done Shred the past 3 days nor have I been to the gym!! I do feel guilty but as Gym Girl said I wouldn't have gotten a good workout in anyway because I feel icky!!! I will be back on track tomorrow. It will be a Shred and hit the gym day as here in Mn they are predicting some snow!!! Really!!! I have been throwing around the thought of going to see a dietitian. I honestly know something is not right, I get calories in calories out, but I can eat more crap and fast food in weekend than any person should and not gain any weight, the next week I can plan out my meals, eat fruits and veggies and not lose any weight. Who does this? Since I started trying to lose weight I can honestly say I don't have a problem getting to the gym, it is the food that I battle with. I did see a dietitian about 2.5 years ago but she was not at all helpful, or in my mind she wasn't , she told me I needed to quit working out so much and to eat more and suggested I may have an eating disorder. It was not an option for me to work out less, eat more and think I had an eating disorder of some sort. I did not go back to her. I just feel like right now I am spinning my wheels and getting no where with the eating part. Any thoughts on this?????

Sunshine in Minnesota

I will say that I had a productive day today, considering I HATE WEDNESDAY'S. Wednesdays are one of the worst days for me at work!!! If I could take every Wednesday off or call in sick I would!! Today I just told myself "it is what it is, these inmates did not get here by following rules, nor can they follow rules inside this institution, just do what you need to do in these 8 hours of hell and it will go by fast" Made it through!!! When I got home I did Shred level 2, what I had forgotten from last September is how much I HATE level 2. All the exercises just seem awkward for me, not sure why but they do. I got myself through it, still on track with that that!!!! I was thinking I should go to the gym but it was BEAUTIFUL out here today, didn't want to waste that opportunity so I laced up the shoes and headed out for a walk. I got about 3 steps out the door and realized this was a C25K training day, crap, so much for the walk. I hit the Gym Boss Trainer and off I went!! I did about 4 miles, whoop whoop for me, I never run outside, I have had many attempts but never this far. I ran 1 FULL MILE on the way back to my house!!! I impressed myself!!!! I then decided to go a few rounds on the boxing bag in the garage. I did about 10 minutes and that was long enough!!!! I did wear my heart rate monitor but it stopped at some point. I think it might need a new battery, maybe I just need to get a new one. Who knows with that thing. I am not letting that set me back. If I don't reach the 1200 calorie burn I am good with that. I feel it is worth so much more doing different things and to just to be out and burning some calories verses no calories!!!!! I am upset that the scale hasn't moved!! I am not sure what to do about it. I have been the same weight give or take 5lbs for the last 2 years no matter how I workout or what I eat so this is nothing new to me!!! I figure at some point it has to move, right!!!!!!! Hopeing for more sunshine in the days ahead!!

Committed to figuring it out!

Today is day 3 of my 28 days of committing to myself. This is how it breaks down and this is what I have learned in 3 short days. I think my heart rate monitor is monitoring someone else's calorie burn. (That is what I would like to think is the problem) According to my HRM I burn 150 calories less than the cardio machine says. I worked out for 2.5 hours on Friday, I used the treadmill and the elliptical, at the end of the workout my HRM said 1046 calories. Are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I was going to die and I didn't even reach 1200 and worked out for 2.5 hours!!!! I also did Shred before going to the gym but for some reason my calories didn't show up. I wore it the next day during Shred and it said I burned 200 calories. I was devastated with the whole HRM reading. My eating was really good and I tracked all my food using the Daily Burn app.

On to Saturday, I was up early to attend the Coffee and Conversation at the Beat Coffee House set up by PFG, Jen. It was a very inspiring morning. Jen is such a nice person and is so genuine. Everyone there seemed to have this positive energy seeping from them. This is also where I made the announcement that my summer plans included doing the Warrior Dash, warriordash.com which I had just signed up for the night before. (Temporary moment of insanity) After getting home, I ran a few errands, did Shred then headed over to the gym.
This time I was there for 1.5 hours and still didn't get the 1200 calorie burn I was looking for.

Today, I got up earlier than usual and did Shred, then headed over to the gym, I had absolutely NO ENERGY and I only did 36 minutes on the elliptical, I didn't wear my HRM and the machine said 402 calories. I tried to force myself to keep going but I just couldn't do it today.

I looked back on my gym calendars and I have been to the gym 6 days in a row and have done Shred 4 of those days and the C25K training on 3. I don't know why this week or even the last 3 days at the gym were so hard for me. All through my journey I have went to the gym 4-6 times a week so working out is nothing new. I fall short with the eating part, however this week that has been on track. Where am I going wrong, why were the last 3 days so hard? If I don't' figure it out this is going to be a very LONG 25 more days!!!! Suggestions!!! I am still committed!!!!!!