Blah Blah Blah

That's what I feel like today. I am all talk and no action when it comes to doing what I say I am going to do. Ok, I will give myself a little credit I do good for one day then fall face down, back out of control.

I have decided that I will "try" and watch what I eat from now until the 2nd of January. I am so sick of wanting to do good and not being able to I can hardly stand it. I think I just need to back off and give myself time to re-focus. I am ok with this as long as the scale stays where it is at (not happy with the current number)or goes down. Going up is not an option at this point!!!

In January the Y is suppose to be coming out with a new program called Get Fit, it has exercises and a nutritional component to it and it is limited in size to 8. I just e-mailed my old trainer about it tonight to see if she is going to be part of it. I am going to do it as long as it will fit my schedule. Sometimes they only have stuff like that during the days, which will not work out for me.

I have also realized that my pelvis rotation is a bigger problem than I thought it was so I have to focus on that first.
In the new year I hope to be able to make some postive changes!!!

Small success

Since I said I was going to do the WW thing at home I have done pretty well, other than the unexpected trip to Fargo last weekend. I do have one big problem, I LOVE BEER!! This is just about as bad as chips for me. I didn't have any in the house but we bought some in Fargo, and brought back what we didn't drink. I have 3 left that are not in the fridge for a reason. I did manage to lose 1 pound so that is good. Not what I was hoping for but I will take it as I had lack of planning and beer!!!

I went out to look for a pair of jeans today!! SAD, SAD, SAD!! why the hell can't they make jeans that fit women? If they fit me at the waist they are to tight in the legs, and there is no hope for the ass, that thing is just that a "thing". How can I get on one of those shows where they "dress" you!!!!!!!! I would spend a 100 bucks on a pair if I could find ones that fit!! We all know I am cheap and that is alot of cash but I am desperate. Anyone know any " fashion eastas"that can help me. Maybe some group should take this on for a fund raiser!!!!!!

Not sure what is going on with this hip crap but I am going to keep working out regardless if it hurts or not!! It has just recently gotten worse so what harm can it do!!!!!!
I really wish I could find someone to workout with. The gym is just not fun anymore. I guess I will use my creative abilities to make it fun!!!!!

Day Two

I had a pretty good day of eating considering that I had a crappy day at work and I am an emotional eater. Work was all great until about 8:05. I did my releases for the day at 7:05, I had two, one was near death and that is not a joke, cancer, horrible alcoholic, seizures, you name it she had it. Anyway she was suppose to be released at 9am to a health care facility, someone from there was to pick her up!! Well my papers did not have a HOLD on them so I let her go. I told her to wait up in the front lobby for her ride, she did for awhile then asked some random person to give her a ride. My boss freaked out, not on me yet, as it was clearly a computer mistake but I am sure it is coming down the pipeline!!! Union reps say I am safe!!!! Still not a good feeling.

So this is what I ate today, 1 and a half clementines, the oatmeal cookies I always make, a protein bar, yogurt with cheerios, chicken salad on a sami bun and cottage cheese and cauliflower. When I got home I had chips!!!!! Enough to equal 9points, yes three servings, that was supper!!!!!!!!!! So I am over my total for the day by only 3. I once again did not count the exercise points but I did 5 miles on the treadmill, 55 minutes and then did 3 weight machines and some sit-ups/crunches. My intent was to go to body pump but it isn't until 8:00 that is just so late, if I would have waited I am pretty sure I wouldn't have gone to the gym. I have had 40 oz of water and a dt dew.
I think there is one serving of chips left!!! I won't be buying them for a very long time!!!!!!!!

It started off good!

My food for today was the oatmeal cookies made from instant oatmeal, yogurt, single serving bowl of cheerios, 2 clementines, chicken salad on a sami bread (that new bread that looks like a bun but is for sandwiches) it equals one point so what the heck why not have it other than it is like 3.50 a bag. 1 can no salt green beans with Sheryl's salsa on top, and a protein bar. Not bad for my day at work, so that equaled 14.5 points out of the 22 I can have. After work, HOLY SHIT!!! I can't help it I had to have the tortilla lime chips calling my name from the cupboard, 1st one serving then another, I had a piece of string cheese and some ham, I ate the other half of my chicken salad and then later had a pb&j sandwich. Are you kidding me???????? I have ended my eating for the day and have went over my point allowance by 12.5. I am not going to try and justify this as I know that I should not have eaten all of that when I came home, however I did go to the gym and did an hour on the elliptical, which I did not allow any points for exercise. I can also subtract these from my 35 extra weekly points, so I am not totally in the dog house I am just disappointed in myself. I came home from the gym and had a Muscle Milk Light Shake which is 2pts, which I added into the the overage for the day. I have had 40oz of water so that is a plus and half of a dt dew left over from last night.
I am telling you I do not know what to do about the mindless eating, it is like I sit down to watch Y&R and I have to eat through the whole dang show. Thank goodness I record it or I would eat for a hour instead of 40 minutes!!!! On the plus side once I eat all that crap in my 1st hour home from work I don't usually eat the rest of the night!!!
Off to make some more chicken for tomorrow!!!!!!

Who is that?

I went to Body Pump today, only the 2nd time since I have been back from Vegas!! not good, last week I went and was in pain for two days, my muscles did not know how to react to that kind of a workout. Should be a lesson learned that if you don't go there will be pain when you start up again. As far as today, I feel fine right now but what I realized while I was at the gym is that I have a HUGE stomach!! I stand in the back of the class normally the class is full so there is no hope of seeing your form in the mirror, however today I did not see my form I saw HOW FAT I HAVE BECOME!!! Those mirrors tell a very sad story. I know I have gained weight but really? I have gained back half the weight I lost before. It scares the crap out of me to see that scale keep going up, at the rate I am going I will be right back to 200lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can not let this happen. Today I dug out all my WW stuff and as soon as I get done with this I am going to plan out my meals for tomorrow. It worked for me before, when I didn't cheat. I know I can do it, for me it is all a matter of planning., I am not going to pay for it I am just going to do it on my own. My support will be Shopper Hopper and Gym Girl!!! Get it ladies I am asking you to do me a favor and check my page every couple of days to keep me on track. I am going to try and update it with what I eat and my exercise daily!! I might as well journal it on here!!!! And no I am not going to pay you to help me!!!!
I have no one to blame but myself, I don't want to workout, I just want to sit on the couch and watch TV and I think that I can eat everything in sight, which I do, mindless, boredom eating. I am starting tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO IF ANDS OR BUTTS about it!!!!! Funny thing about Butts I just told Pat on Sunday when I was trying on jeans in Albertville that I think I need a butt reconstruction!!! It is not a bubble butt or a shelf, but when I put on jeans it looks HUGE and WIDE and the waistbands on pants look like they go half way up my back. It is so GROSS!!!! I am off to plan out tomorrows menu!!!

Good Day

Today was a good day. I had an ice-coffee from McDonald's this morning ready and waiting for me at work!! Thanks Bea, she thought I needed one since I was so upset about yesterday's coffee fiasco. I had that then at 9:30 I had yogurt and a single serve bowl of cheerios. At 12:30 I had turkey chili with a little shredded cheese and a 90 calorie special K bar. At 3:30 I had 3 chocolate covered peanuts, a 100 calorie pac of pretzels and one piece of sting cheese. I had a Dt Dew to!! Off to the gym, I wanted to go to Body Pump at 6:40 but I knew that if I didn't go when I was feeling like it I would have skipped the gym all together so I decided to let Body Pump fall to the weigh side tonight and just do cardio. I did 4.85 miles in 50 minutes!!!! What a rush!!! Syd said I was a monster!! haha I came home and had cauliflower and cottage cheese mixed together for the "mock mashed potatoes" and a pear. I ate the damn pear with the peeling and part of it is still stuck in my throat. ICK!!! I have only had two glasses of water so far so I need to kick that in the butt a little more before going to bed. Syd could seriously be a "mini Jillian" she was hilarious at the gym tonight, I might just have to pay her the 5 bucks and hour she said she would charge me!!! She is a little loud so people were staring and laughing at us!! Who cares it was fun!!!!!!

Not feeling it!!

What can I say, I do not feel like going to the gym lately!!!! What is up with that? I have been planning on going to Body Pump since I got back from Vegas but I just don't feel like it. I have only been to the gym twice since we got back.
Today is the 1st of Nov and this is what I ate. I was suppose to be off today but ended up working for a friend at the last minute so that I can have Dec 26th off. Stupid that she couldn't pick a day closer to mine but whatever!! Anyway, I decided that I should get an Iced Latte at McDonald's on the way to work. I ordered it with fat free milk and sugar free syrup. It cost $3.52, what the hell it is usually $2.38, whatever, I sat in line for 15 minutes and when I pulled up they handed me something hot. I was so pissed I told them that is not what I ordered and they hesitantly asked if I wanted the iced one. I did not have time to wait for them to make it so I told them that and left with the hot one!!! I got to my post at work at 7 right on the button!! I took the lid off and took one sip and thought I was going to vomit, it was so strong. I gave it to my co-worker so at least it didn't go to waste. Hence the reason I took the lid off to taste it. GROSS. Not a good start to the day. I had a 90 calorie special K bar, yum at about 7:30 at 9 I had a protein bar, at 9:30 I went on break and had expired yogurt and a single serve bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios!! My co-workers assured me that I could eat the yogurt, I didn't even eat it all. I spoon it on to the cereal instead of milk since it tends to make me sick. At 12:30 I had yummy turkey chili that I made with a small spoonful of shredded cheese and 3 packs of crackers. I also had a teaspoon of BLT salad, it always looks so good but tastes like crap!!! I came home and had a couple of handfuls of pumpkin seeds made by my two favorite boys!! A bite size Reese's and small pack of peanut M&M's. For supper at 5:00 I had some turkey, and about a tablespoon of mashed potatoes. Ok trying something new here. I took cauliflower and mixed it with 2 teaspoons of cottage cheese, the recipe calls it mock mashed potatoes. It was very good!!!!!!!!!!! I could really eat these instead of real potatoes. I also tried to make homemade cranberry sauce using splenda. It was a little tart but ok!! I have had about 5 glasses of water and one dt mt dew. I just ate my fun size frozen snicker bar!!! I am good for the night!! I ate really well today.