It's been a long time since I posted on here, the sad thing is that nothing has changed! It is sad!! I had a huge reality check while packing for ND for almost 2 weeks, what was it you ask? A large amount of my clothes were to tight!!!!! WOW, that one hurt!! I knew that I put on a few pounds but really!!!! That "fat" just likes to creep up on one!! I did do a little shopping and to my disgust I had to buy the next size up from what I was wearing. I could get the smaller one button but there was no way in hell I could ever sit down in it!! Plus who wants 10 fat rolls hanging over their waist band? I could deal with one or two but 10 not so much!!
I had some days filled with drama while on vacation as well, drama does not help me, it only makes me eat and want to have a few beers. Confession I think I had beer almost every night while on vacation. That wouldn't be so bad but I always have to eat something while drinking. I am going to have to give up the beer or give up the munchies with beer if I want to take some of this weight off!! Which will it be? Who knows!! I do only have one beer left in the fridge so I don't think I will buy anymore!!!! Oh the tears are flowing now!!! It is not that i need beer I just like it, one or two every now and again!!
Sharon totally pisses me off in her large weight loss, not that it bugs me that she lost it but how she "appears" to look down at anyone who has a fat roll or two. She constantly reminds people how good she looks and what size she is. I quit listening after awhile but I think it is between a 2 and a 4. This is my thought to her. SHUT YOUR MOUTH. I know she has been through more than I would ever want to deal with but let me tell you sister you lost the weight because of STRESS!!!! Not because you take your ass to the gym almost daily like I do. It just got very old all weekend. She also seems to feel she needs to be the center of attention. Well, I took the wind out of her sail at one point and I know she was pissed. We had just finished eating and I grabbed my stomach and said " nice spare tire I have started to carry around", my dad said " well mine isn't much smaller", Sharon looked at both of us with disgust. Then dad commented on how good Pat looked the day before when he saw him and I had said "he looks great, he is down 50lbs" Dad said " that is amazing". This is not a conversation my sister cared for so she quit listening and walked away. Can't she be happy for anyone but herself!!! IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! Do you think Pat likes to eat frickin chicken and veggies everyday?
That is enough about that drama, just had to get it off my chest!! Poof, gone!!! Wonder why I can't do that with my extra pounds!!! haha
This is my plan of action starting Sunday Aug 16th. Why the 16th and not tomorrow well, I go back to work tomorrow and we have had a happy hour planned for the last month so why try to eat well when I am going to drink, I just get pissed when I try and then screw up, so I am waiting until Sunday!! Might even have to call in sick on Saturday!!
This is how my plan should work!!!!!!!!!!
Step one, I am going to clean out my cupboards today and get rid of all the crap, yes that includes the chips but I am sure I will keep them for my emergency eating on Friday night when I get back from Happy Hour and for Saturday when I can't find anything to satisfy me because I drank the night before. Stop it I said I was starting on Sunday so I can have those damn chips and finish the chex mix maybe even the peach pie!!!!!!!!
Step two, prepare, I need to make whatever it is that I am going to eat and portion it all out and put it in the fridge for at least two days in a row. That way I can just grab it and go and there will be no deciding what I should have. I did this when I did WW and it seem to help a lot. My fridge will now be stocked with cooked chicken, and raw veggies. My plan is to sort of follow Pat's plan, how ever I like the Green Giant frozen steamed veggies so I am going to use some of them instead of eating lettuce all the time. Come on they have to be much better for you than a bag of chips.
Step three, I am going to try and not drink pop, I said try!! I am really going to try and drink more water. I love water what I don't like is having to pee every 5 minutes, it really sucks at work. You can't always go when you need to and then you have to take off all the equipment just so you can go!! A pain in the ass but I guess I am going to have to deal with it.
Step Four, the gym, I am going to try and start going back to body pump at least 2 days a week. I really don't mind the gym, when I don't feel like going I tell myself "just go and if you don't want to do a long workout, don't" on these days I usually get some of my best workouts in. I really want to try and start using my exercise ball at home. No, Sheryl I am still not going to use that thing again in public until I can not look like a dumb ass on it, so it may be never!!! Unless it is wall squats with it!!
Step Five, I am going to post what I eat daily on this page as a way to hold myself accountable. If I have to type that I ate a bag of chips it will be pretty embarrassing. No more closet eating for me. If I eat it, I must type it for the world to see!!!
I have not decided yet if I will weigh myself once a week or daily. It drove me nuts to not weigh everyday on vacation, but when I did I was pissed, everyone's scales are so different. Hell Buds said I was 15 lbs more than what I am at home!!! For me it is a reminder, so one day if it says one thing and the next day it is higher I know that I need to watch it more. But on the other hand I think that is what drives me so crazy!!!!!!! So I will have to figure that out by Sunday.
My goal is to lose 2 lbs a week, I think this expectation is realistic and healthy. I NEED to be at a lower weight by VEGAS TIME in OCT. A trip and some weight loss, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
OK, so that's a really good goal. I will start Sunday too. I have a bachelorette party tonight and the wedding Saturday night, when I know I will be drinking so I'll wait until Sunday also. I am going to try not to bake anything. We can have fresh fruit for dessert. The good fruit season is almost over, so we might as well enjoy it while we can. Gavyn mentioned to me last weekend that he is fat-which you know he's totally NOT and I told him we should make a pact; he would help me stay on track and he agreed. I have not had any pop all week and I'm going to try to drink tons more water too. I may even sign up for the 5K in September. I don't know if I'll run the whole thing, but I would like to try. Everyone says that the route is filled with people cheering and entertainment and stuff so that when you feel like you need to walk, you don't-so I might just give it a whirl. I figure if I run about 3 times a week at least, I can do it. I am so tired of being fat-and I'm not just saying that. I used to look in the mirror in the morning and say to myself 'you could lose a few pounds, but you aren't fat' well now I look and I want to cry because I can't believe the body looking back at me is actually me. It makes me want to throw up. But my mind is smarter than that and always stops me! Your husband said something that has stuck with me for a while now. She may have lost some weight, but at what cost? If being a good mother, wife and friend are the trade off for being fat, I'd rather stay fat. Love ya!!
ReplyDeleteOoh, Pat had a good quote! I agree with that. And even now that she's lost the weight, she is still searching for happiness. At least your are starting with a happy family (immediate I mean).
ReplyDeleteI think it sounds like you have a great plan. I will be here to cheer you on (and meet your for workouts if I can).
The difference between the weight loss that you are about to have and Sharon's is that you will know that you have worked hard for yours and won't be shoving it in people's faces. A little humility can go a long way! Your husband is a good example of that.